i am shy,

yes to you i am.

i wanted to see you so much before you get here,

but once you're here.

i dunno what to do, or say when i am with you.

its like i became stupid.

i even forgot how to kiss.

theres a hole in the roof
where the rain comes in,
the moment i close my eyes,
my head begins to spin.

there are windows out high
that stops the blazing sun,
where tears flow out,
to water the flowers out front..

theres a crack in the wall,
where the cold wind blows,
the scars it has left,
on my body does show...

theres a path to the garden
where i have close the door,
after you have walked out,
i am not expecting anybody anymore......

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no one lives here anymore,

why dun u try knocking on some other door,

cos no one lives here anymore,

not here tho i was before.

left this house of pain,

never coming back again,

left this house of pain,

one cold night when it rained.

no one lives here anymore,

nothing here but the cold marble floor,

no one lives here anymore,

you could see thru the empty hall.

left this house of pain,

never coming back again,

left this house of pain,

one cold night,i walked into the rain.

no one lives here anymore,

the weed in the garden is growing tall,

no one lives here anymore,

soon enough the building will fall.

left this house of pain,

walked into the rain,

left this house of pain,

before i go insane.

i search for God,
that time forgot,
under a small river rock.

i thought i find,
a very strange kind,
that looks like a mouse's behind.

i close my eyes,
just to see
that i was looking at me.

hahahahaha

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the other day at the zoo,
i saw green monkeys,and pink elephants too
i saw a man with 3 heads,
sleeping on a fire bed.

the other day in the park,
i stayed from day to dark,
i saw Heng making out
to my 24 cans of empty stout

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i thought i saw myself today,
second row first car of the train,
that whizzed right before my eyes,
am i going insane.

i saw he looked at me too,
with eyes that showed terror,
as if he recognizes me,
like staring into a living mirror.

i wonder what it all means,
to see the other me of the whole?
maybe i am just seeing things.
or maybe the truth i behold?

i wish i know why am i here,
the lines on my face they show the long weary years.
is there all there is to it,
another cycle,maybe even another thirty years.

it will and has ceased to be different,
it will remain the same.
my footsteps has been sank in stone,
its the same old repeating sunrise everyday,
again and again and again.......

i have searched and i have pondered,
thru the hearts of a thousand men i wandered
i believe there must be a calling,
something more substantial,something more real,something....

i like

licking the airplane window,

trying to taste the candy cloud floss.

call me,

and tell me,about your problems,

about the bad weather.the bad people.

about how work suck,

about how shitty the day has been,

how its hard to sleep at night.

how you wake up in fright.

tell me how its all gone bad,gone wrong.

on second thoughts,

don't call me.

i just clean up my house just now, and im not talking about just sweeping and mopping the floor.i threw away a lot of stuff that has been lying around since god knows when. i moved some furniture around,i wiped everything i can lay my hands on,i burnt some incense sticks and aroma oil.i swept,i vacuumed,i moped,and then i moped again

the whole house feels not just clean,but also cleansed.i dunno how to describe the feeling but it just feels so good.i feel that not only the house is clean,but i am cleaned as well.it just have a strange therapeutic effect on me.

the house may be small,but it does its things right.and now its all i got.

im not gonna take taxi unless its a life and death situation.until they justify the price hike with improvement of their attitude,why shud i even give them my hard earned money.

instead of punishing the errant cab drivers for hiding,touting and general bad service,now they wanna make us pay more for this shit.

well,fuck 'em!

i love wet markets.

the orange of the carrots,the greens of the leaves,the silver of the fishes.

the noises of the businesses.

i cant build u a taj mahal,

or

cry down parts of the great wall.

for u i cannnot bring down a star,

nor wage a great cold war.

i cant grow wings and fly,

to write your name in the sky,

but i'll lay with u on green pastures,

to watch the world pass us by,

for u,

i have lived,for u,

i'd gladly die and reincarnate to be with u,

for another thousand lives.i dream of nothing more,

than to listen to your lies,for

when u break my heart i never question why.

so u wanna get a tattoo of a dragon that doesn't look like a ah beng dragon,

get barney!!!!!!

bury your children,

in a thousand bags of toys

they grow up like me

where once you touched me,

in the soft of your frangrance,

tho'

no stars proclaim,the pain still,

remains.

communicasia 2007 is finally over.its a 14hrs/day for 13 days work for me.

this has been the worst show for me so far.i've done 3 communics,1 singapore areospace,1 india areospace,1korea motorshow,1 sibos in sydney.and countless smaller shows this 2 years.this is by far the suckiest!!!not the exhibitors suck, not the organizers suck. its us who suck!!!the store in charge this year was stupid and stubborn.

stupid i can forgive. he was either born that way or had his head knocked around too much when he was a kid,he didnt ask to be stupid. but stubborn i cannot forgive.